


One Fish, Two Fish, Shawn Fish, Blue Fish

by DinerGuy



Category: Psych
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2011-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-16 02:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinerGuy/pseuds/DinerGuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn's plans for the day did not include joining the decor of the garden's koi pond. Unfortunately, it seems the bad guy had different plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Fish, Two Fish, Shawn Fish, Blue Fish

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Whumpathon challenge over on Psychfic. Betaed by the lovely Kkarrie.
> 
> Prompt: Koi are inquisitive fish. But Shawn can't help but find it weird how they're all staring at him from two inches away while he's in the process of being drowned in their pool. Maybe they think he's lunch. Maybe he will be.  
> Prompt by: Kirei  
> Recipient: Shawn  
> Location: Garden  
> Tools: Fists, ceramic pot, tshirt, fish pond
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing Psych belongs to me. I'm just borrowing for fun.

"And that was when you decided, in that sneaky, ginger head of yours, that you had to kill him!" Shawn exclaimed, leveling his arm at the other man. "After all, he had just discovered you were stealing from the business you two ran. And you knew he wouldn't let you get away with it, oh no. Johnny was way too much of a law-abiding citizen to do something like that."

"You ain't got no proof," Rick Uhlman snapped, crossing his arms. If looks could kill, Shawn would already have joined the man's late business partner.

"Other than these powerful psychic vibrations going on? Yes I do, my friend!" Shawn grinned. "The department currently has someone going through your computer files and financials. We've already made the connection between you and that business account that your partner didn't even know you had. It's just a matter of time before – Ow!" Shawn broke off as Uhlman's powerful right hook covered the short distance between them. The pseudo psychic's head snapped to the right, and he was pretty sure he heard something crack.

He stumbled slightly before regaining his balance and raised a hand to his jaw. "Dude, that was totally uncalled for."

Uhlman didn't seem to be listening.

"Seriously, dude," Shawn told him, ducking the other man's flying fist. "You really need to work on your anger management issues."

"Is anyone else listening in on this conversation?" Uhlman demanded. "You wearin' a wire?"

"Am I wearing a wire?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. You wearin' a wire?"

Shawn shrugged. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But you might want to hesitate before doing anything too harsh. The cops are going to be all over this place in a matter of minutes. If you cooperate, things might go better for you."

Uhlman snorted a laugh. "Yeah, and then what? Our restaurant is gone by the time I get out. I got no family around, no friends. What do I have to lose?" He swung for Shawn again, but the other man had ducked out of sight behind the row of shrubbery that separated the tables from the decorative landscaping.

"That's just sad, dude," Shawn told him, crab-walking behind some rosebushes. "Come on. You sure there's nothing in you that wants to stay free? That wants to enjoy a life not in an orange jumpsuit?"

Uhlman didn't reply, and Shawn couldn't resist the urge to peek around the bushes to see where the man had gone. He was supposed to be keeping Uhlman occupied until Lassiter and Juliet could get there with backup, so he figured he needed to keep the man within eyesight or earshot.

There was no one to be seen, and Shawn's brow furrowed in confusion as he craned his neck, looking around the small garden behind the upscale cafe. Just as his eyes scanned past the koi pond, he heard a footfall behind him, but before he could turn to see who was there, something hard connected with the back of his head.

Things got a bit hazy for a minute or two. When his surroundings cleared, Shawn found himself lying facedown amid shards of what used to be a ceramic flowerpot. There was blood mixed with the white and brown pieces, and adding that to the pain in the of his skull, Shawn was pretty sure he knew what had just happened.

He put his palms on the grass to rise, but suddenly there was a hand on his back and his shirt collar was pulling against his throat. Choking and coughing, Shawn was hauled to his feet and face to face with a rather angry-looking murderer.

"What do you say we just sit down and discuss this like two civilized people?" Shawn suggested hopefully.

Uhlman just grunted. "You want to interfere in my plans? I'll show you what happens when you mess with a good thing."

"Uh, I don't think –" Shawn began. He didn't get any farther before Uhlman started for the other end of the open area in front of the tables and he was having to scramble to keep any sort of footing as he was dragged by the back of his tshirt.

The collar of the shirt cut into his windpipe, constricting his breathing, and he was panting for breath by the time they came to a stop. As they paused, Shawn gulped in a breath, but he didn't get halfway through before Uhlman pushed against his neck. Shawn was already weak-kneed and off-balance, and Uhlman easily forced his head underneath the surface of the koi pond.

It felt as if someone had kicked him in the stomach. His nose and lungs burned as he involuntarily inhaled, and he began coughing and spluttering, which only added to the problem as he was still underwater.

Just as his vision was beginning to gray and grow blurry around the edges, his shirt pulled against his throat again and Uhlman hauled him up. Sweet fresh air flooded his lungs as he broke the surface of the pond, and he began retching as the water that he had inhaled started coming back up.

Before he could regain his breath or any semblance of dignity, Uhlman pushed him under again. Shawn barely had time to think that he should probably try to hold his breath before his head was immersed in the shallow fish pond for a second time.

His last minute thought would probably have worked if he had had a chance to follow through with it, but his body didn't seem to be listening to any commands his brain was currently giving. His hands flailed for a hold above the surface, trying to find something to grab onto to pull himself up, but Uhlman's hand stayed firmly against his neck, keeping him under the water.

The thought crossed Shawn's mind that drowning in two feet of water seemed like a silly way to go, and he even giggled slightly, which caused him to choke as he inhaled even more water.

Uhlman's grasp wasn't loosening, and Shawn realized the man wasn't going to pull him out again. This was it.

He didn't even have time to panic at the thought before the blurred colors he could make out under the water faded from view.

He may have lost hold of reality for a moment, because the next thing he knew, he was stretched out on the grass. Juliet and Gus were leaning over him with worried expressions on their faces.

He started to speak but barely opened his mouth before he had to turn over as the water he'd managed to inhale and swallow forced its way back out. A hand was at his back, rubbing gently as he emptied his stomach of whatever it had previously contained.

Finally he lay back in exhaustion, though he still managed a tired grin. "Hey, Jules, Gus ..." His speech was a little slurred as he blinked slowly up at them.

"Shawn, don't you ever do that to me again!" Gus exclaimed. "I was worried sick!"

Juliet gave him a small smile, though concern still showed in her eyes. "Just lie still, Shawn. The paramedics are on their way. Are you feeling okay?"

He nodded slowly. "As well as a guy who just got drowned can be."

Gus rolled his eyes. "You did not drown."

"Did too!"

"Did not."

"Did."

"Oh for the love of Justice!" another voice cut in.

Shawn and Gus paused and turned with Juliet towards where Lassiter was walking up to join them.

"You did not drown, Spencer," the head detective snapped. "There is a difference between almost drowning and actually drowning."

"Like the difference between being all-dead and mostly dead?" Shawn wanted to know.

Gus bumped his friend's proffered fist. Juliet rolled her eyes as Lassiter growled in annoyance.

"Did you shoot the bad guy, Lassie?" Shawn inquired, glancing around as he realized Uhlman was nowhere to be seen.

"No," the detective frowned, shaking his head.

"He did knock him out," Gus supplied.

"Yes, actually, I did," Lassiter snapped in response to the look Shawn was giving him. "What else was I going to do? The man left you all right but then he started swinging at me."

Shawn raised an eyebrow at Gus.

"That's how it happened, Shawn."

"If you say so," he shrugged.

"I do," Gus nodded.

Sirens began wailing in the distance and Juliet stood, giving Shawn's shoulder one last pat. "I'd better go show them where we are."

Shawn relaxed against the ground and looked back at Lassiter with a mischievous smile. "So, did you use a good old-fashioned uppercut or did you break out your Taser again?"


End file.
